If you and the other parent do not agree on a big decision, it can lead to serious issues. Whether you are divorced or not, making decisions regarding your child is generally a joint obligation. Most of these decisions are small, like going to the dentist.
Some decisions can have major consequences. An example of this type of decision is vaccinations—many parents have very strong opinions regarding vaccinations and whether or not or when their child should get certain vaccinations. Now that a COVID-19 vaccine has been approved for children 5 and over, parents have a big decision to make.
Deciding whether or not to vaccinate a child may be based on safety, religion, or other concerns of the parent. While some parents have anxiously awaited the chance to get their children vaccinated, others are completely against it. There are some situations where parents may agree not to vaccinate their children but schools require vaccinations in order to attend. These decisions are difficult for any family but can be especially challenging for parents who refuse to cooperate.
How to (Calmly) Have a Discussion
When you can’t agree, what’s a devoted but determined parenting team to do? The best thing to do is take a step back and calm yourself down. Tensions may be running high as both parties are probably staunchly arguing what they believe is the right side. Try to find some common ground by reminding yourself that you are working together for your child’s best interests. Here are some other steps that you may find helpful throughout these discussions:
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Look Back on the Past
While you likely have never been through a pandemic in your lifetime, you have probably had difficult decisions regarding your children that you’ve made together. Draw on that experience and see what worked in that situation.
Seek Help
Call in family and friends you trust, a therapist, the child’s pediatrician, clergymen, or anyone else whose opinion you trust. Don’t see it as someone wins and someone loses but instead that coming to a resolution means you are doing the best for your child.
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Let the Child Share Their Opinion
Depending on the age of your child, you should ask about their feelings about the vaccine. Their opinion should matter so this will give you the chance to hear them out.
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When We Can’t Agree, Who Will Decide?
When parents are unable to agree on how to proceed in these cases, the decision falls on the court. They will use best interest factors to determine whether or not the child will be vaccinated. The court will consider each parent’s reasons for being for or against vaccination, school or extracurricular requirements, health risks in the family, family medical history, and, of course, a medical expert’s opinion. This generally does not equate to the general medical information online about vaccinations but rather seeking the medical opinion of the child’s pediatrician.
About Melone Hatley, P.C.
If the parents speak with the child’s pediatrician and these discussions do not lead to a consensus, then a judge will be forced to make the decision—and that decision may be based upon the beliefs of the judge.
The top-rated attorneys at Melone Hatley, P.C. are here to help! Melone Hatley, P.C. is a family and estate firm serving Virginia Beach, Richmond, and Northern Virginia. Our philosophy is to provide all of our clients with the highest quality legal representation, innovative legal solutions, and unsurpassed dedication to customer service. Through our high standards, we strive to be a trusted resource to our clients.
We know from experience that a successful attorney-client relationship depends on our ability to understand your needs and objectives. For more information about child custody, contact our Client Services Coordinator at 800-479-8124 or book your appointment online.
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