Co-parenting during the holidays can be challenging at best, but what happens if one of you wants to travel with your kids over the holiday? Can you travel with your children without your co-parent’s permission? What happens if your co-parent wants to take your children out of state or out of the country for the holidays and you are feeling uneasy about it?
Let’s take a look at your rights to travel with your children when you share custody and what you can do if you and your co-parent disagree.
Rule Number One: Consult Your Custody Agreement
If you and your former spouse have a formal custody agreement, it serves as a legally binding document outlining your custodial rights, responsibilities, and expectations as co-parents.
Understanding and adhering to your custody agreement during the holidays not only helps you maintain a positive and respectful co-parenting relationship with your former spouse, but it can also avoid misunderstandings, disputes, and potential legal issues.
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Does Your Custody Agreement Have a Holiday Schedule and Vacation Clause?
The more detailed your custody agreement, the better clarity you and your former spouse will have as co-parents. And this can be especially helpful during the holidays.
Most custody agreements have allocations for holidays and vacations. In a more comprehensive custody agreement, there may also be provisions for co-parents’ travel rights and obligations.
Details may include under what circumstances either of you can travel with your children, where you can take them and for how long. Are you required to notify the other of your travel plans, and how far in advance? How will either of you communicate with your children while they are gone?
A formal custody agreement provides structure, defines responsibilities, prevents misunderstandings, and provides both of you with legal protections. Bottom line: always consult your custody agreement if you are considering traveling with your children to ensure you are not violating its provisions.
Are You Required to Give Your Co-Parent Advanced Notice if You Travel With Your Children Over the Holidays?
The terms of a custody agreement will vary depending on the couple and their needs. Notification requirements will be an important provision of your custody agreement you will want to understand. Your agreement may require you to notify the other parent of any travel plans you have with your children or only ones that might affect your regular custody schedule.
If you are required to notify your former spouse of any holiday travel plans with your children, ensure this is done well in advance and within the time allotted. You should also be prepared to share more details about your plans, such as the dates of your departure and return, your anticipated itinerary, and where you will be staying, with appropriate contact information. A good plan is to also schedule video calls, phone calls, or texts during the time away, which can ease the other parent’s mind.
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Consider Any Travel Restrictions
Some custody agreements include travel restrictions, such as if travel with your children must remain in-state. If your agreement restricts your travel, you may need permission from your co-parent if you want to take your children out-of-state or out of the country for the holidays.
Custody agreements often address international travel separately and usually require written consent from the other parent. Furthermore, in the United States, both parents must typically consent to a passport for a minor child, which will require your co-parent’s cooperation. You may also need to provide details regarding any travel insurance and medical information if you are planning to travel abroad.
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Discuss Your Plans Well in Advance
Even if you or your co-parent are within your rights according to your custody agreement, you will want to discuss any travel plans well in advance, ideally months ahead of the holidays. This allows you and your co-parent time to adjust schedules, make arrangements, and create predictable plans.
Share travel dates, destinations and activities in detail so both of you can be comfortable with the plan. Maintaining open communication with your co-parent will foster cooperation and prevent misunderstandings and conflicts, which can ruin a great holiday for your children.
What Happens if You Don’t Have a Formal Custody Agreement or Yours Does Not Specifically Address Travel?
Without a formal agreement, or if your agreement doesn’t specifically address travel with your children, the lack of legal guidelines can create conflict and even legal disputes.
If you have a cooperative co-parenting relationship, you could reach an informal agreement outlining your travel plans and details, including the travel dates, location, accommodations and contact information. You will both sign the agreement and the traveling parent can keep a copy of the written permission with them as they travel.
Working together toward a temporary agreement will go a long way toward creating a more harmonious co-parenting relationship and ensuring your children enjoy an exciting holiday trip.
Focusing on Your Child’s Best Interests
Whether it is you or your co-parent who wants to travel with your children over the holiday, both of you should consider the unique benefits it allows them.
This holiday trip may offer time with extended family members your children rarely, if ever, see. It may provide them with valuable opportunities and cultural experiences they will remember for a lifetime. When it comes right down to it, if the trip is in your child’s best interests, your job as a co-parent should be to support these occasions if it does not infringe on your parenting time.
What if You Have Concerns About Your Co-Parent Taking Your Kids Out of State or Out of the Country?
While a holiday trip sounds exciting and fun, and you don’t want to disappoint your kids, you may have concerns about your co-parent traveling abroad with your children over the holidays. What can you do?
- Check your custody agreement and court order. Does it include specific restrictions for international travel, such as written notice or consent? If your agreement requires mutual consent for out-of-state or international travel, you may have grounds to refuse your co-parent’s request.
- Ask for more information and document any communication. Ask for additional specifics about travel plans, accommodations, activities, and who will be traveling with them. How will you communicate with your kids and how will potential emergencies be addressed? Understanding specifics can help you better assess how you feel about the trip or confirm that you have valid concerns.
If you believe there is a risk that your co-parent will not return with your children, you have legal protections, including the Uniform Child Abduction Prevention Act and the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act. However, parental abduction can be frightening and difficult to navigate after the fact.
If you have valid concerns about your co-parent not returning with your children, you will want to seek legal advice. Your attorney may advise you to request a formal custody agreement through the court or seek a temporary court order restricting your co-parent’s ability to travel with your children.
Coordinating holiday travel plans with a co-parent will require careful planning, open communication, and a willingness to compromise. By focusing on your child’s best interests, you and your co-parent can create a cooperative holiday environment that everyone can appreciate and enjoy.
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