October marks Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and if you are the parent of a child with Down Syndrome, you already know the unique joys and challenges of your role. However, navigating a divorce and negotiating custody on top of this can make your life even more complicated.
Custody cases are seldom simple, but when a special needs child is involved, the challenges and stakes are even higher. You, your spouse, and the court system must carefully consider your child’s unique medical, educational, and therapeutic needs in addition to their emotional and physical well-being when making custody decisions.
Considering the Unique Needs of a Child With Down Syndrome
Approximately 5,700 children are born with Down Syndrome in the United States each year. Caused by a chromosome abnormality that occurs in utero, children with Down Syndrome can be born with many developmental challenges and other co-existing health conditions. While each child is unique and special, your child may require specific care and services throughout their life, including
- Medical care – Because children with Down Syndrome can be at higher risk for many health challenges, your child may require significant medical care.
- Therapeutic needs – Physical, occupational, and speech therapies may be required to support your child’s development and quality of life.
- Educational support – Your child may also require a specialized educational plan to ensure they get appropriate educational support.
These needs can place additional strain on your family and finances, even in the best of marriages. But in a divorce situation, custody and child support arrangements must always account for these additional needs so your child can get the seamless care they need and deserve throughout and after your divorce.
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Considering the Child First
Going through a divorce is never fun. It is physically, emotionally, and financially challenging for any family. Disputes arise, anger surfaces and partners forget what brought them together in the first place.
But when you have a special needs child, you are faced with additional responsibilities as a parent and will have to prioritize decisions based on their welfare. While you and your spouse may both feel you are best equipped to parent your child, this is a time when cooperation is essential. If the court needs to make the final decision in your custody dispute, it will consider many factors, all in keeping your child’s best interests at the core.
The Best Interests of the Child
In any custody dispute, the court uses a legal framework known as the best interests of the child. This means that all decisions are weighed against whether it will be best for the child’s safety, security, and well-being. When you have a child with special needs, this takes on heightened meaning.
When the court makes custody decisions in these cases, it will look beyond the regular framework used in custody cases to look deeper into specifics that will ensure your child’s welfare.
- Who has been the child’s primary caregiver? The parent who has managed school, appointments, therapy, or other needs may be best able to continue in this role.
- Which parent is best able to advocate for the child? Special needs children can get caught up in a complex system that leaves them advocating for their child’s rights to appropriate care and education. Courts often consider which parent is most able to handle these tasks.
- Which parent has the most stable living environment? Special needs children often struggle with change and transitions. This makes stability critical. The court usually prioritizes the custody scenario that minimizes any disruption for your child.
- Which parent has better geographical access to resources? In some cases, when parents do not live close by, the court will consider who has closer access to your child’s educational and medical providers.
- Which parent is most willing to cooperate? When you have a special needs child, cooperative co-parenting will be critical. The court often favors the parent who is more willing to maintain a cooperative co-parenting relationship and open communication.
- Financial stability – Caring for a special needs child can be costly. The court could favor the parent with the resources to financially provide for your child’s needs.
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How Can You Demonstrate Your Commitment to Your Child to the Court?
One of the most emotional hot-button issues in any divorce case is custody of the couple’s children, which may also be true of yours. When spouses have a special needs child, the best possible custody agreement will be one that is mutually agreed upon and beneficial, keeping your child’s needs as a priority. Unfortunately, this is not always possible in a contentious divorce case.
If you and your spouse cannot mutually agree to custody arrangements that work best for you and your child, the court will make these decisions for you. When the court makes these decisions, you must be able to demonstrate a commitment to your child’s health and well-being to put yourself in the best possible light.
Showing Involvement in Your Child’s Medical and Educational Life and Care
The court will consider which parent most actively participates in your child’s life. This will be the parent who understands their needs and works most closely with their providers and educators.
You can do this by documenting your attendance at your child’s medical and therapy appointments, showing you have maintained communication with their doctors, therapists, and teachers, and providing evidence of your continuing involvement in their education, especially if your child has an Individualized Education Program.
Creating a Stable and Supportive Home Environment
A stable home environment is essential for a child with special needs, especially if they struggle with change and transitions.
You can prove your commitment to a stable home environment to the court by maintaining living quarters close to your child’s providers and school, showing consistency in their routines, such as their sleep schedules, medical appointments, and therapy sessions, offering adaptive equipment or other learning tools at home to support their needs, and keeping a stable support system of family and friends involved in your and your child’s life.
Showing a Willingness to Cooperate With Your Co-Parent
The court often favors the parent who is most willing to cooperate and communicate with their co-parent for the benefit of their child.
You can show this by putting your child’s needs before your conflicts and disputes and shielding your child from any conflict between you and your spouse. Show that you are willing to have open and consistent communication about your child’s needs and care with your spouse, and are flexible when coordinating schedules for visitation or other appointments. Furthermore, you will want to show a willingness to facilitate your child’s relationship with their other parent. All these things demonstrate to the court that you are taking precautions to safeguard your child’s mental and emotional health and are willing to have a cooperative co-parenting relationship with your spouse.
Demonstrating an Understanding of Your Child’s Future Needs
Parents with special needs children must be prepared for the future and their child’s long-term needs.
Advocating for your child’s short and long-term needs will be critical, especially looking toward the future when they become adults. You can demonstrate this by educating yourself about government benefits available, special needs trusts, Medicaid waivers, guardianships, and powers of attorney.
Willingness to Seek Professional Support
Becoming a single parent to your special needs child will be an entirely different role from parenting as a married couple. Getting professional or other social and emotional support can be critical so you can learn from others.
Seeking advice from medical or educational experts, joining support groups, or enrolling in parenting classes for parents of special needs children shows you are taking a proactive approach and will demonstrate to the court you are committed to enhancing your knowledge and ability to care for your child.
Show Your Willingness to Mediate Instead of Litigate
Considering the emotional and financial challenges of custody disputes, the more willing you are to make decisions based on your child’s well-being instead of litigating, the better.
Mediation is a legal process that allows both parents to work with a neutral third party to create an agreement that works for everyone. The court will often look more favorably on the parent who is willing to work together to put their child’s best interests first, even if litigation becomes necessary.
Show You Have Considered Long-Term Consequences When Your Child Transitions Into Adulthood
Another critical factor that parents must address with a special needs child is how they will be taken care of once they transition into adulthood. This may include getting an understanding about your options, such as options for long-term caregiving, guardianship, or establishing a special needs trust.
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Having Skilled Legal Representation is Essential
Custody disputes are challenging under any circumstances, but they can be even more complex when your child has Down Syndrome or other physical or cognitive disability.
As the parent of a child with Down Syndrome, you will have the added responsibility of ensuring all your child’s needs are met both during and after your divorce. The court will invariably focus on the best needs of your child, so working with a skilled special needs divorce attorney will be crucial.
At Melone Hatley, P.C., our dedicated child custody attorneys are committed to providing you the assertive support, guidance, and advocacy you will need to navigate the divorce process as the parent of a child with special needs. Contact us at (877) 395-5598 or through our website contact form for a free consultation.
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