Co-parenting can be challenging any time of the year, but the holiday season often poses its own unique challenges. After all, the holidays hold special emotional significance, and both you and your former spouse would like to maintain your holiday traditions with your children and family. Unfortunately, this isn’t always possible after a divorce, which can make holiday visitation schedules a source of conflict and tension.
While holiday parenting time is usually included in your final custody order, changes to these plans often become necessary as your circumstances change or your children grow. How can you modify your holiday parenting schedule without violating your existing custody order?
What Does Your Current Court Order or Parenting Plan Say?
If you currently have a parenting plan or court order that defines your custody, visitation, or parenting time, it will usually specify a holiday co-parenting arrangement. Your arrangement may alternate between holidays or provide for some split of time between you and your co-parent.
Most orders have provisions allowing for temporary modifications when both parties agree to them. Courts prefer that parents cooperate and seek mutual agreements whenever possible without litigation. Fortunately, the court doesn’t have to approve temporary holiday modifications, provided you and your co-parent agree. If you and your co-parent can cooperate, you can agree to a modified holiday parenting schedule on your own without the court’s intervention.
Schedule your free meeting with our team today to see if our Lawyers can help you.
Communicating With Your Co-Parent
The best way to modify a holiday schedule is to have an open discussion with your co-parent.
Be Proactive and Discuss Changes as Early as Possible
Be proactive and approach any requests well in advance. There is nothing worse than being confronted with last-minute changes to holiday plans. You are more likely to get cooperation if you approach any changes proactively and respectfully. The longer you wait, the more conflict and resistance you are likely to encounter in response.
Consider How the Change Will Disadvantage Your Co-Parent
It is important to be empathetic and respect your co-parent’s perspective when asking for a change in holiday visitation time. Before you communicate with your co-parent, consider your request from their point of view to anticipate objections and formulate responses.
Chances are, you will be met with resistance initially, so be prepared to offer alternatives so you can strike a compromise. Listen to their concerns and be willing to adjust your proposal somewhat. Being flexible shows your good faith and encourages a more collaborative spirit.
Focus on How Your Requested Change Benefits Your Child
Frame your requests on your child’s behalf. How will your child benefit from the changes you’re proposing? Will they get to see particular family members they would not get to see with your existing schedule? Your child may need to participate in a holiday-related school event or religious observance that may interfere with your existing plans. Focus on your child’s needs and not your own.
Document Your Agreement
If you and your co-parent have reached an agreement, document everything. Your agreement should include all specifics, such as the place, time, and duration of the changes in your holiday parenting time, who will pick up and drop off your child, and any other factors that will clarify your agreement. Both you and your co-parent should sign and date it. Keep an original copy of your signed agreement and copies of any other correspondence to support the changes in case your co-parent decides to have a change of heart.
What Happens if You Can’t Reach a Resolution?
If you can’t resolve a holiday schedule dispute, you may enlist the help of your family law attorney or a licensed mediator to help negotiate a resolution that will work for both of you. However, if you can’t come to a mutual agreement, you will have to abide by your existing custody order.
Can’t You Seek a Formal Modification of Your Holiday Visitation Plans Through the Court?
The law allows for modifications of custody or visitation orders in specific cases, but only when there has been a “material change in circumstances” and it is considered in the best interests of the child. Ideally, you don’t want to involve the court when requesting temporary changes to holiday schedules.
A “material change” will be ongoing and long-term, such as a parent’s relocation or the changing needs of the child. For instance, a formal modification may be warranted if you have moved out of the area and your current holiday schedule won’t work logistically or your child’s educational or medical needs have made your existing parenting plan impractical.
Remember, the court will only consider modifications when there has been a significant change in your circumstances, your child’s needs, or there are concerns about your child’s safety. Consequently, if you are merely dissatisfied with your existing holiday schedule or you want more holiday time with your child, this will not likely be considered a “material change,” and the court will probably not grant a formal modification.
Click to contact our family lawyers today
What Happens if You Have Had a “Material Change in Circumstances” That Warrants a Court Modification of Your Custody Orders?
If you aren’t sure if your case warrants a modification through the court, your family law attorney can be an invaluable asset. Your lawyer will assess your case to determine if your situation qualifies as a material change in circumstances under the law and provide an honest assessment of whether a modification is likely.
If your attorney believes your case warrants a court-ordered modification, they will advocate for you in court, highlighting how your change in circumstances impacts your life and how a modification will serve your child’s best interests. If not, your attorney can help negotiate a compromise, propose a modified holiday schedule, and draft an agreement between you and your co-parent that will protect your rights and minimize misunderstandings and disputes.
If you and your former spouse have a good co-parenting relationship, negotiating a change in your holiday parenting schedule shouldn’t be much trouble, provided you create a clear mutual agreement. But if your relationship is not a cooperative one, you may need help developing a new holiday visitation schedule that considers everyone’s needs and goals. Whether you choose to negotiate your own agreement or enlist the help of your attorney or mediator, be prepared that the process will take time, patience, and understanding.
At Melone Hatley, P.C., our experienced family law attorneys are here to assist you with all your holiday custody and visitation questions and concerns. Call our office at (877) 812-4680 or schedule a free consultation through our website contact form.
Schedule a call with one of our client services coordinators today.
